As a child of about 8, I remember listening to Danny Thomas doing a stand-up comedy routine. Of all the jokes and funny stories he was telling, this one has stayed in my head for almost 60-years. I've taken some liberties with it and although it's the same theme, I've added a-bit of my own 'flavor', no pun intended.
Apple Pie and Coffee
Giuseppe was a laborer working construction in Italy.
Business in Italy was not very good and his cousin in
America had been trying to convince him to move to
America. Finally, after being out of work for many
weeks, he decided to make the move. He knew he was
able to live with his cousin, therefore, he gave
notice to his Italian landlord and prepared to move.
The move was more complicated and took a-bit longer
than was expected giving Giuseppe little to no time
to learn any English, but his cousin said not to worry,
that he would teach him what he needed to know.
When Giuseppe arrived in America he learned that his
cousin was extremely busy at work and did not have time
to start teaching him any English or anything else about
life in America. While Giuseppe was waiting for his green
card he couldn't work and asked his cousin to at least
teach him enough English to order some food in a
restaurant. So...his cousin taught him how to say apple
pie and coffee.
Giuseppe started going to the same restaurant every day, and every day he would order apple pie and coffee. After two weeks of eating nothing but apple pie and coffee he asked his cousin to teach him a new food phrase. His cousin taught him how to say ham sandwich. He couldn't wait to go to the restaurant the next day.
The next day he went to the restaurant and when the
waitress came to his table to take his order he sat
up straight and clearly said, ham sandwich. The
waitress asked, “Would you like that on white, whole
wheat, rye or pumpernickel?”
Giuseppe's shoulders dropped and his eyes lowered
looking at the table. Then after a brief moment he
sat up straight and said,…
"Apple pie and Coffee."